Why Wearing Sunglasses Indoors Boosted My Confidence in Zoom Meetings 😎

It started as a joke. A Tuesday morning experiment to spice up the monotony of another 47-hour meeting about… honestly, who even remembers? I slapped on my aviators 🕶️, leaned back in my chair, and prepared for the usual corporate nonsense.

That’s when Mercury — yes, the Roman god of communication — joined the call. His avatar was a glowing winged sandal, which felt both on-brand and a little pretentious. “Nice shades,” he said, his voice crackling through the bad Wi-Fi connection. “Finally, someone who understands the power of an aesthetic flex.”

The others in the meeting? They didn’t notice. Apparently, divine appearances are only visible to the coolly confident (and possibly sleep-deprived). Mercury leaned closer, his holographic face filling my screen. “Here’s the deal,” he said, gesturing wildly with what appeared to be an iced latte. “You keep wearing those shades, and I’ll grant you divine charisma.” I nodded, naturally. What kind of fool argues with a god?

From then on, things escalated. During one particularly tense brainstorming session, I stared down Greg (you know, that guy who always uses “synergy” unironically) and said, “We’re going with my idea. Mercury approves.” Everyone just… nodded. No one dared question me — or the apparent celestial endorsement.

Now, I’m unstoppable. Budget reviews? Conquered. Debates about font choices? Decided with a single, inscrutable nod. My coworkers whisper behind my back: “What’s with the sunglasses?” Let them wonder. Mercury has my back.

Moral of the story? Sunglasses aren’t just a look. They’re a portal to god-tier confidence. Literally. 😏